be a robot
have some hope
take a bath
murky with soap
grab a burger
grab your tote
take your test
vote for blacky,
when we're winners
we'll decry whitey,
saney, little lies
...i hate to be political. but a certain candidate for gov. of Washington state looks like Frankenstein made it with Donny Osmond. i can't watch his ads without thinking that. ugh.
and how on earth is John Driscoll a Dem.?!?
sorry it's been so long since i've posted.
AAH! i had to wrestle rufus off the desk. he's really soft and purdy and distracting.
i'm getting back on my meds full time and i've been too scattered to post.
did yardwork today up at my mom's. she was supersweet and we worked hard but didn't get much done. it was my job to move all the heavy rocks from around the step-dad's firepit from last autumn. then i had to sift through the ashes for nails and staples, which has got to be a lateral thinker's level of hell. proverbial needle in a haystack.
AAH! rufus keeps rolling me. silly familiar powas.
if i watch an intelligent (as intelligent as tv gets) interview show on tv i often spend the day internal dialoguing like i'm on one.
worked most of today. took a nap and felt terrible afterward that i'm lazy despite that i worked. poot. but because of that i haven't gone out or done anything to feel very human about.
i often use tired as a block. sometimes i even get so manic that i can't help trying to nap to calm myself down. but being manic and not doing anything leads to frustration.
celts didn't use interlace much. it was brought to the british isles via the romans from egypt. i kept repeating that in my head because it irks me somewhat that people want to think otherwise and haven't done their research. doesn't really matter much but i like being pretentious, yo. also because i'm working on piece(s) for Ellen's e-zine the month after next the theme of which is "egypt". no interlace in them yet, but i love interlace anyway.
my sister didn't call me. i know she needs alone time sometimes but i still wonder if i'm a bad brother for not calling her when she doesn't. i don't want to pester her.
all out of sleepytime tea and it's starting to work. i love that stuff.
#1) measuring angle and proportion are now so blurred together in my vision that they're the same thing. both have aspects that interconnect. the space between angles forming shapes and all. might play with that and curves later. definitely some.
#2) the best work of the past doesn't justify doing crappy work in the now coasting on one's laurels. though it is nice to measure growth, slacking off because one has "done enough" is genuinely lazy. growth doesn't necessarily lead to minimalism either. i feel best doing both intricate detailed things and vast vistas of free space in a day.
#3 the quote i've been repeating in my head from Daniel Boorstin's The Creators isn't at all accurate to what he said though the idea seems similar:
mine; "being perfect the Buddha never needed to create."
Daniel's; "Is it any wonder that the Buddha dismissed those who asked when and how the world was created? That he aimed at them the 'unbearable repartee' of silence? What soul en route to Buddhahood would waste energy on the mystery of creation? The Buddha aimed at un-creation. The Creator, if there was one, was plainly not beneficient. The Buddha charitably had not conjured up such a Master Maker of Suffering, who had imposed a life sentence on all creatures. If there was a Creator, it was he who had created the need for the extinction of the self, the need to escape rebirth, the need to struggle toward Nirvana. The Lord of the Buddhists was the master of extinction. And no model for man the creator."
i think this is wrong for several reasons. i hope that he was giving a concise outlook on non-western arts for the sake of being more fluent on other works, but it really seems a disservice to Buddhist art and philosophy to abstract it so (even if his actual brevity didn't match my own shorter version.) i really did enjoy that book and it might be on my yearly reading list now. i really wanna' see what he says about Buddha in The Seekers.
yesterday's aha moment arrived while i was standing in the local grocer's waiting in line at the customer service desk for a copy of a new dvd. the line was about fifteen minutes long (elvin conceptions of being helpful aside this could be an actual "waste of time", but feh.) anyway, the line went past the racks of newspapers. on the cover of the new york times was a picture of popa nearly dancing next to dububbaya just looking as gleeful as i've ever seen an 80 yr old German. the paper next to this was our local rag. the headline was big and bold. popa's quote, "we are deeply ashamed." my mind flitted back and forth between the image and the words, until finally it dawned on me that i was near shouting, "HE'S _SO_ FULL OF SHIT!" it's like paris hilton apologizing for all the syphilis in manhattan in the seventies, but still. i don't think his apology has even that much weight. my heart goes out to those whose lives were destroyed by priest abuse, they deserve every tithe and more, though that'd still not make up for it. and this farcical tour of his is pre-empting the compassion summit in seattle last week. i want to shoot my tv.
i don't know if it's the spring. but the combination of my being more competant this week and being more friendly in general toward the males of humanity has me just insanely... well... horny. just i've swung a 180 from submissive and introverted into suddenly feeling charmed and salacious.
what the hell is going on in mah HEAD!?! i have no idea how to act in an even halfway, accepting of my faults, liking what i am kinda' way. what? what do i-- how? you people get to feel like this all the time?!? YOU RIGHT BASTARDS! i'm going to go writhe in bed and think of ways to launch stinky things at beurocratic landmarks.
omgess! fred schneider on ellen. i'm in gay nerd heaven! that totally makes my day.
there was a guy who looked exactly like Zachy in twenty years downtown.
i tired but have to work today and maybe study some.
"left brain workout stop, right brain work out begin." ~kahn on King of the Hill
flee: you locked your truck, like you don't trust me or sumpin!
coffeegirl Amanda: yes, because it's just you i don't trust.
flee: HA! i knew it.
coffeegirl Amanda: yup
flee: because the rest of spokane is so very trustworthy.
coffeegirl Amanda: yes, they are.
flee: so it's all about me.
coffeegirl Amanda: heh heh. yup...