peter punkin guy

brushes off top of journal

2009-12-04T23:11:44Z

i'm sorry it's been so long since i've posted here. facebook killed the livejournal poster. hopefully i can catch back up. rather than tell you all that's happened since last i've posted i'll just try to keep you updated from here on out. cool?
i no longer have any work up at deviantart. i removed it because in a chatroom there i wasn't allowed to use the word "fag". wtf? my blog also is running fallow at http://fleeboysfun.blogspot.com I must take pics of stuff soon to fill it in more regularlike. as long as my 'puter holds out.

<3

fleeboy @ 2009-03-19T14:32:00

2009-03-19T21:34:00Z

oh shit! i took the watercolors out! ART IS GOING TO HAPPEN! must. not. look. pleased.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

2009-03-18T03:46:32Z

that's the sound my sister's baby makes. she was late for feeding time and we were in the motor vehicle. i wasn't minding but i have enough pills in me to make a rhino see pink elephants when they should be hearing a siren. sometimes it helps if i holds her hand so i tried that, but after that didn't work bros in law tried wiggling her pacifier. that convinced her for five seconds or so that she was ingesting sumpin. then she seemed to remember she isn't allowed whole foods yet, and that plastic is nothing like a smashed banana. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! all the way to their house.
i had fun, though. we watched movies and stuff and that gave me a few days off.
i feel lazy but okay.

Kay.

2009-02-25T02:26:09Z

so i went shopping for myself for the first time in months at the local bookplace where they have books but you have to pay for them instead of just giving them to you, cause' it's capitalism, yo!
i found one of the three sandman compilations i've been missing, Carl Sagan's Cosmos (which i should have already, but it was all used and probably outdated, but has pretty pictures and i SQUEEd), John Howe's fantasy art makery book, also for the pretty pictures plus the whole voyeurism into how real artists work thing. did you know they still use pencils?!?
i got one comic book, but there's really nothing there i want that way. kinda' depressing. for once it's not that i have no interest but i realize the form is dried up irregardless of my interest. i think that way about a lot of things. maybe i'm growing too fast. or maybe it really is just me.
i need a stool for my art desk, and a lamp. but books are fun.

AARGH!

2008-12-21T04:55:44Z

today at coffee Brooksy pointed out the bee-ate-les on a little insert in the paper. before i could point out that Elvis was the fifth bee-ate-le i got Maxwell's Silver Hammer stuck in mah head. nothing on earth can make a guy feel so creepy as to be out and about and realize he's enjoying humming that jaunty tune. still...
i'm so behind on work. someone please kick my clinically depressed ass out of bed.

JOHN CONNER MUST DIE!

2008-12-09T04:00:46Z

err-- i mean-- 10001000010101000100001010111100001110

i'd maybe be attracted to him if he didn't have those mattel eyebrows. not like i have any place to say...

100010010111110000011110000000

it's not binary, i just hiccup in base two counted backwards because i'm made uncomfortable by his eyebrows.

fleeboy @ 2008-12-05T17:19:00

2008-12-06T01:22:22Z

From Ellen: The first ten people to comment in this post AND repost this meme in their own journal get to request a sketch on the topic of their choosing from me!

If you are not a sketcher, I'm sure you have an art form you can use to "sketch" for others. This totally counts. :)

~cut~

ha! like i know ten people! go ahead, tell your friends. it'll be hilarious. and no asking for monkeys.

and why neither works

2008-11-04T06:36:47Z

besides the obvious hypocrisy of voting for the nicest seeming guy to have the job of being the biggest asshole in the world? i should know. i'm the most asshole seeming guy that has to be nicest.

mccain

2008-11-04T06:33:43Z

patriot chin
winner's grin
little success
from everyone's babe
once a soldier
patriot grin
letting protestors
metal-scanned in
wife which rich wither strokes
patriot's smirk
never besmirched
little unstable
it's only a twitch

obama

2008-11-04T06:30:22Z

be a robot
have some hope
take a bath
murky with soap
grab a burger
grab your tote
take your test
vote for blacky,
bitchy, best
when we're winners
we'll decry whitey,
saney, little lies

um...

2008-11-03T14:19:00Z

...i hate to be political. but a certain candidate for gov. of Washington state looks like Frankenstein made it with Donny Osmond. i can't watch his ads without thinking that. ugh.
and how on earth is John Driscoll a Dem.?!?

AAH!

2008-05-11T03:57:45Z

sorry it's been so long since i've posted.

AAH! i had to wrestle rufus off the desk. he's really soft and purdy and distracting.

i'm getting back on my meds full time and i've been too scattered to post.

did yardwork today up at my mom's. she was supersweet and we worked hard but didn't get much done. it was my job to move all the heavy rocks from around the step-dad's firepit from last autumn. then i had to sift through the ashes for nails and staples, which has got to be a lateral thinker's level of hell. proverbial needle in a haystack.

AAH! rufus keeps rolling me. silly familiar powas.

aha moments #2

2008-04-19T05:46:57Z

if i watch an intelligent (as intelligent as tv gets) interview show on tv i often spend the day internal dialoguing like i'm on one.

worked most of today. took a nap and felt terrible afterward that i'm lazy despite that i worked. poot. but because of that i haven't gone out or done anything to feel very human about.

i often use tired as a block. sometimes i even get so manic that i can't help trying to nap to calm myself down. but being manic and not doing anything leads to frustration.

celts didn't use interlace much. it was brought to the british isles via the romans from egypt. i kept repeating that in my head because it irks me somewhat that people want to think otherwise and haven't done their research. doesn't really matter much but i like being pretentious, yo. also because i'm working on piece(s) for Ellen's e-zine the month after next the theme of which is "egypt". no interlace in them yet, but i love interlace anyway.

my sister didn't call me. i know she needs alone time sometimes but i still wonder if i'm a bad brother for not calling her when she doesn't. i don't want to pester her.

all out of sleepytime tea and it's starting to work. i love that stuff.

aha moments of the day #1

2008-04-18T06:22:23Z

#1) measuring angle and proportion are now so blurred together in my vision that they're the same thing. both have aspects that interconnect. the space between angles forming shapes and all. might play with that and curves later. definitely some.

#2) the best work of the past doesn't justify doing crappy work in the now coasting on one's laurels. though it is nice to measure growth, slacking off because one has "done enough" is genuinely lazy. growth doesn't necessarily lead to minimalism either. i feel best doing both intricate detailed things and vast vistas of free space in a day.

#3 the quote i've been repeating in my head from Daniel Boorstin's The Creators isn't at all accurate to what he said though the idea seems similar:

mine; "being perfect the Buddha never needed to create."

Daniel's; "Is it any wonder that the Buddha dismissed those who asked when and how the world was created? That he aimed at them the 'unbearable repartee' of silence? What soul en route to Buddhahood would waste energy on the mystery of creation? The Buddha aimed at un-creation. The Creator, if there was one, was plainly not beneficient. The Buddha charitably had not conjured up such a Master Maker of Suffering, who had imposed a life sentence on all creatures. If there was a Creator, it was he who had created the need for the extinction of the self, the need to escape rebirth, the need to struggle toward Nirvana. The Lord of the Buddhists was the master of extinction. And no model for man the creator."

i think this is wrong for several reasons. i hope that he was giving a concise outlook on non-western arts for the sake of being more fluent on other works, but it really seems a disservice to Buddhist art and philosophy to abstract it so (even if his actual brevity didn't match my own shorter version.) i really did enjoy that book and it might be on my yearly reading list now. i really wanna' see what he says about Buddha in The Seekers.

mea maxima culpa

2008-04-17T17:43:58Z

yesterday's aha moment arrived while i was standing in the local grocer's waiting in line at the customer service desk for a copy of a new dvd. the line was about fifteen minutes long (elvin conceptions of being helpful aside this could be an actual "waste of time", but feh.) anyway, the line went past the racks of newspapers. on the cover of the new york times was a picture of popa nearly dancing next to dububbaya just looking as gleeful as i've ever seen an 80 yr old German. the paper next to this was our local rag. the headline was big and bold. popa's quote, "we are deeply ashamed." my mind flitted back and forth between the image and the words, until finally it dawned on me that i was near shouting, "HE'S _SO_ FULL OF SHIT!" it's like paris hilton apologizing for all the syphilis in manhattan in the seventies, but still. i don't think his apology has even that much weight. my heart goes out to those whose lives were destroyed by priest abuse, they deserve every tithe and more, though that'd still not make up for it. and this farcical tour of his is pre-empting the compassion summit in seattle last week. i want to shoot my tv.

omgessomgessomgess

2008-04-17T05:28:20Z

i don't know if it's the spring. but the combination of my being more competant this week and being more friendly in general toward the males of humanity has me just insanely... well... horny. just i've swung a 180 from submissive and introverted into suddenly feeling charmed and salacious.
what the hell is going on in mah HEAD!?! i have no idea how to act in an even halfway, accepting of my faults, liking what i am kinda' way. what? what do i-- how? you people get to feel like this all the time?!? YOU RIGHT BASTARDS! i'm going to go writhe in bed and think of ways to launch stinky things at beurocratic landmarks.

fleeboy @ 2008-04-04T12:05:00

2008-04-04T18:53:53Z

omgess! fred schneider on ellen. i'm in gay nerd heaven! that totally makes my day.

ACK!

2008-04-04T01:31:05Z

there was a guy who looked exactly like Zachy in twenty years downtown.
i tired but have to work today and maybe study some.

"left brain workout stop, right brain work out begin." ~kahn on King of the Hill

heh

2008-03-28T02:15:11Z

flee: you locked your truck, like you don't trust me or sumpin!

coffeegirl Amanda: yes, because it's just you i don't trust.

flee: HA! i knew it.

coffeegirl Amanda: yup

flee: because the rest of spokane is so very trustworthy.

coffeegirl Amanda: yes, they are.

flee: so it's all about me.

coffeegirl Amanda: heh heh. yup...

fleeboy @ 2008-03-16T21:13:00

2008-03-17T04:02:39Z

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWHUMP! getting over a horrendous flu that hit me on thurs. have felt completely useless. but all day i was euphoric for starting to come out of it.
i still don't trust this 'puter enought to scan things seriously yet. makes me feel really behind. i trust it for e-stuff though. maybe i'm just being lazy...

MONKEY!

2008-03-06T06:26:36Z

not in my wildest dreams did i ever imagine a monkey attacking schoolchildren here in Spokane. i knew watching the local news would eventually lead to paydirt. take that!
*squintsquint*
my computer went "KRUNK!" last monday. i do believe it's dead. Brooks gave me his old one to use. i gave him my allowance and then he bought socks at walmart. many socks. so now i'm learning just how to trust my new circuited friend. he's boopy#5. i hope having the corpses of his predecessors around doesn't disturb him much. i just can't bring myself to dispose of them.
Rufus says hi to everybody. he's being supersweet and wanting me to go to sleep. i think i shall.

fleeboy @ 2008-02-22T00:09:00

2008-02-22T08:12:32Z

i'm having trouble sleeping with the higher dose of lamictal. the blissfully good mood and starting on projects i've had on hold since my teenage years, and the knowledge that if i work hard i can do whatever the hell i want all make it worthwhile, though.
on the bus today there were at least a half dozen people reading books. it felt like a mobile salon and i actually drew standing up because asshat teenagers decided to lay across two seats rather than let me or the elderly sit. y'know i have a small life when that pisses me off.
i'm gunna' read some then try to sleep again.

another dream etc

2008-02-20T00:28:29Z

miss M and i were making a zine. everything was fine until i tried to do the writing part and she had to very gently let me know it wasn't working. then her stepdad kicked me out of the house because, like when we were teens, he thought i was a risk for sleeping with her. but it wasn't his house it was the house of my mom's friends when i was a weeflee. fin.

having one of those days where i'm scared of working. but i will anyway. got a huge pad of paper that i absolutely don't need for anything @ the art supply store and a couple of brushes. they don't have kolinsky 20$ inking brushes any more. i think digital inking has beaten the market for them to death. so i'm gunna' try these watercolor brushes for that and if they don't work i'll use them for drybrushing (read: NEVER!). otherwise i'll ask my friends in other cities to look for them kolinsky's. brush inking is one of the most relaxing things on earth for me, but brushes don't last long.

my mood has so improved with the weather. even though i still get anxious at night, but less so than in the last month. the increased lamictal is working well.

i fell on my butt again today. i knew right before it happened that i would again. then WHUMP! it was actually more painful than funny this time; bruised my ulna and my left hip. thankfully i have pliable bones like a five year old. also i came within two feet of dog pooh, so it was a bit of a relif when i realized i'd missed that.

fleeboy @ 2008-02-15T09:12:00

2008-02-15T17:23:15Z

okay, doin' a lot better. i worked all week. i'm so proud of myself. almost done with my current project and have a couple more lined up. the rent thing really stressed me out. now that it's probably taken care of i feel a lot better.
got a letter from a probate attorney my uncle hired to take care of my dad's estate. apparently he owned a house and some investments as well as some debt. so i'm trying to wrangle together my somewhat scattered thoughts on the matter in order to figure out what to do. my first instinct is to try to get ahold of the uncle and tell him he can have whatever he wants. my sister and i have the same feelings about inheritance. no one owes us anything, especially the dead, especially dead people we never met. it would be nice though if i could get the house and rent it out, or sell it and buy one here and rent it out then give the money to my mom in lieu of years of not getting child support. J says that's too gnerous of me, and that i should try to get money and squirrel it away.

wing is written on my feet

2008-02-04T06:42:18Z

CUT-THROAT BITCH! with slashiness this tuesday. i quiver with anticipation!

watching in-view and remembering why i love Michael. i really must do a cheesey fan portrait of him soon.

went to cloverfield today. wow! that was surprisingly good.

gunna' try to race my medicine in getting a little doodling done before bedtime.

AH! imitation of life craggy mom of good friend!